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The journey to conception is a long, difficult road...
1. Numbness
During this time of dissociation, the thought is that it cannot be true, and actual physical signs such as
loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and problems with memory can occur.
2. Yearning
This phase is accompanied by feelings that they are alone in infertility. It is particularly painful to see
babies, so the couple will avoid social situations where children are present. Also, feelings of jealousy
and anger are common during this phase. Anger is directed at both the self and others.
3. Disorganization and despair
This is the longest phase, lasting a minimum of 6 months. Anger and guilt from the prior phase
continue and outbursts of rage will increase. There is concern about being out of control and the fear
of being alone as their social activities continue to be limited in order to avoid the sight of babies and
pregnant women. The social support network for the couple may also be less available due to the
discomfort of being with such angry, tense, and unhappy people. As with previous phases, tears are
unpredictable and can be embarrassing. This phase may be accompanied by feelings of hopelessness
and helplessness most often associated with depression.
4. Reorganization
This phase is hallmarked by acceptance and reordering of one's life. It can take the couple 2-5 years
to reach such a state of equilibrium.
The emotional stages of infertility were created by:
Syme, G. (1997). Facing the unacceptable: The emotional response to infertility. Human
Reproduction, 12, 183-187.
Special thanks to:
Hart, V. A. (2002). Infertility and the role of psychotherapy. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 23,
31-41.
During this time of dissociation, the thought is that it cannot be true, and actual physical signs such as
loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and problems with memory can occur.
2. Yearning
This phase is accompanied by feelings that they are alone in infertility. It is particularly painful to see
babies, so the couple will avoid social situations where children are present. Also, feelings of jealousy
and anger are common during this phase. Anger is directed at both the self and others.
3. Disorganization and despair
This is the longest phase, lasting a minimum of 6 months. Anger and guilt from the prior phase
continue and outbursts of rage will increase. There is concern about being out of control and the fear
of being alone as their social activities continue to be limited in order to avoid the sight of babies and
pregnant women. The social support network for the couple may also be less available due to the
discomfort of being with such angry, tense, and unhappy people. As with previous phases, tears are
unpredictable and can be embarrassing. This phase may be accompanied by feelings of hopelessness
and helplessness most often associated with depression.
4. Reorganization
This phase is hallmarked by acceptance and reordering of one's life. It can take the couple 2-5 years
to reach such a state of equilibrium.
The emotional stages of infertility were created by:
Syme, G. (1997). Facing the unacceptable: The emotional response to infertility. Human
Reproduction, 12, 183-187.
Special thanks to:
Hart, V. A. (2002). Infertility and the role of psychotherapy. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 23,
31-41.